.: Boundaries of Steel :.

Art by Zao Dao

Brené Brown, the empathetic writer, and spokeswoman for the power of vulnerability, once had a deep question: What do all the most compassionate people have in common? She spent years researching this question, interviewing big-hearted beings the whole world over, and what she found was surprising. It wasn’t religion they had in common or a meditation practice; It wasn’t that they had saint-like mothers or traumatic pasts either; It was that they all had ‘boundaries of steel.’

To have ‘boundaries of steel’ requires a tuned moral compass, yes, but more importantly having the courage to say NO! To find the power and the blade for drawing clear lines in the sands of Time and defending them with heart. To never lose compassion for others while defending these lines either. Some of these concepts are explored in her latest book unknowingly dedicated to Mars and his teacher Chiron called BRAVING THE WILDERNESS: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. A book I have yet to read, yet have a creeping suspicion there is a strong dose of Mars medicine inside of it.

We need connection. Without it, we reach for things (people. places. pints & pills). Perhaps it’s why we stay in toxic relationships because our desire for connection outweighs the fear of standing alone for a chapter. Put a rat in a cage without friends, he will drink all the drug water and ask for more; Put a rat in a cage with friends and exciting activities to get into, he will not drink the drug water and understand contentment (see: Rat Park). We aren’t too different. The way many of us live is isolating-pre-COVID included. There is a clear argument that this is one of the root causes of the drug pandemic we see in the world today. Now, I’m not leading into some passive D.A.R.E campaign here, about to say, ‘Just say no,’ yet, in the spirit of NO, knowing that Mars is about to station retrograde, this is what I’m leading into:

Say NO to the voice that says your not good enough

Say NO to a person who constantly takes from you

Say NO to the food that makes you feel guilty

Say NO to the drink that makes you feel the same

Say NO to the lazy demon inside you full of excuses

Say NO to anyone who doesn’t believe in you

Say NO to the fear which comes up when thinking about certain transits

And say YES with every single victory.

Say Yes to having ‘boundaries of steel’ and an ‘iron will’, red-hot with a clear purpose. Mars rules over iron after-all, so we can assume these phrases are Mars phrases as well (steel is over 90% iron).

This is the Mars work. It’s constant work. The hardest work. Some would it even call it ‘malefic’ work. Yet, the most rewarding work of all is discovered along his windy and treacherous road. Say NO to predictions. See this moment as a ‘Call to Adventure.” Let’s see what we are capable of, shall we?

Know thyself…and your boundaries!

*Find Mars in Aries in your chart. Get to training and practicing your NO.




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Dedicated to Kosmos, Mythos, and Psyche. “Great stories are worthy of constellations.” Substack: https://kosmognosis.substack.com/

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Adam Sommer

Dedicated to Kosmos, Mythos, and Psyche. “Great stories are worthy of constellations.” Substack: https://kosmognosis.substack.com/